I wrote this post months ago and it’s just been sitting in my drafts, too scary to hit “publish” on.
Because once I do, there’s (emotionally) no turning back.
But today feels like “one of those days”, the kind where I’m feeling brave and bold and ready to face my fears.
So, here goes………………………………………………………..
Learning to Love Myself
Something horrible happened in my late teenage years.
I don’t know how or when, but I switched from the typical, angsty “I’m so ugly!” to truly believing deep down that I didn’t deserve adoration, at least, not as much as others did.
What’s wrong with thinking that
destined for greatness,
deserving of the realization of simple dreams and the pursuit of love and happiness?!
Nothing is wrong with thinking those things, but somewhere along the line, way too young and way too early in life, I stopped.
Perhaps it was all the perceived failure that I blew way out of proportion.
Any time a job opportunity or relationship didn’t work out, instead of staying positive about the situation and moving on, I would pick it apart day after day, much longer than was rationally healthy to ponder something.
Even worse, I would always come to the conclusion that it was my fault and my mistake…
And that I deserved to be miserable.
That is no way to look at yourself and that is no way to live your life.
I’m learning to take my own advice, the same advice I give to anyone who asks.
Tip: any time you say something mean to yourself, immediately correct yourself.
For example: I’m such a slob.
Correction: I’m going to practice sticking with a cleaning schedule this week!
Sounds cheesy, but eventually, it works…
So yeah, I’m learning to love myself again.
Have you ever been way too harsh with yourself?